I’m in the midst of planning trips, working a lot, going to sporting games, participating in Taco Tuesdays and making friends, but that hasn’t stopped me from attempting to date. Yes, date. Dating via real life encounters and with the help of Apps…I never thought I would try them but here I am.
As of a few months ago, I am officially off of the apps but I thought I should share some of my favorite dating stories:
- Bartender #1 (met in real life): He took me to this AWESOME jazz place and then we went and grabbed drinks after dinner, and then more drinks, and then more. The date itself was about 7 – 8 hours, perhaps the longest date in history. At the last bar, when I returned from the bathroom, he ended up showing me a “love mark” on his neck and told me that he wanted to be honest with me and that he had been talking to his on/off again girl while trying to take me out. Naturally, this freaked me out and I just said he doesn’t need to tell me this, it’s our first date, I don’t care. I insisted on going home and when he said he’d take the subway with me, I said I’ll walk home (trying to get rid of him) and he insisted on walking me home. I ended up yelling at him (like I do with people I know really well) because he kept apologizing to me for mentioning the girl and for ruining the evening… We walked from 55th St and 6th Ave down to 25th St and 2nd Ave…needless to say, I avoid the bar he works at and blocked his number. Yeesh.
- Almost Got Stood Up (met via Hinge): I was supposed to meet this guy at 8:30pm at a bar that’s very close to my apartment. As always, I was 10 minutes early so I walked around the block and walked in at exactly 8:30pm. I did a quick scan of the room and did not see him so I texted him and said “Hey I’m here”. I stood awkwardly, wondering if I was getting catfished, regretting dating at all, and hating the fact that there were no seats at the bar. I stood for about 3 minutes, texting my friends frantically about what to do. Meanwhile, a waitress came up to me and asked if she could help me. I politely said I was waiting for some friends but I’ll look at the menu. So she got me a menu and I pretended to scan it for some time. How long do I wait? Was I really getting stood up? One friend said that I should leave at 8:40pm if I haven’t heard from him – which I didn’t. So 8:40pm rolled around and the waitress came back to check on me and I quickly lied and said “my friends and I decided to meet elsewhere”, So I hand the menu back and tried to walk out bravely with as much dignity I could muster. As I walk outside and down the stairs, guess who is getting his ID checked by the bouncer? The guy. So I have to turn back inside and walk in with him only to get waited on by that same waitress I lied to the entire evening… I. Was. Mortified. I also never saw him again.
- Bartender #2 (met in real life): I actually liked this guy as a friend, so it’s a shame that our date was somewhat awkward but at least we are still friends! He took me to this sushi and dumpling place (I don’t eat seafood). He ordered pork dumplings to start -I don’t eat pork either so after saying that I don’t eat seafood I didn’t want to say I don’t eat pork either. So the plate of dumplings arrived along with our utensils…chopsticks. I don’t know how to use chopsticks!! Meanwhile, he’s telling me his ex-girlfriend is of Asian descent so he used to use them all of the time. So I try to use the chopsticks to pick up the dumplings but mostly just push them around the plate and focus on drinking my beer while distracting him with my witty banter (hah). I finally try to man up and take a bite of the dumpling crusty part (without pork) so I finally manage to scoop it up and just as I’m lifting it up to put it in my mouth, I accidentally flick it to the floor. I am in shock. WHAT DO I DO? I can’t pick up the damn thing with chopsticks obviously (Lord knows where it would end up) …which is all I had. So I just bent down and picked up the dumpling with my hand and slapped it on the table. I tried to laugh it off and told him “Ha you can’t take me anywhere”. This must have been cute to him because we proceeded to go grab a drink after this.
- Venmo Me (met via Tinder): We met up for drinks (of course) and we were having a good, friendly conversation. I wasn’t sure if he was into me at all because of the way he acted but I just went with it. When the bill came, I offered to split it (put my card in and that whole thing which is what I usually do) but he was like “No you can just Venmo me later”. In case you don’t know, Venmo is an app where you can directly send/receive money. I didn’t really think anything of this, or maybe I thought he was joking. Anyway, towards the end of the night, I said something along the lines of “I owe ya” and he was like “oh right, find me on Venmo”. I asked for his help to find him because I didn’t know his last name…He found himself on the app and I paid him $10. On Venmo. After a date. What.
- 3rd Date Rule (met via Tinder): This guy was special because he actually took me to dinner for our first 2 dates (wait, what, an actual meal!) and then we grabbed drinks for our 3rd date. It was going really well, I liked the guy and everything, except, that he hadn’t tried to kiss me yet so I was wondering about that since that was unlike the other guys. Anyway, we were sitting in a booth type setting so we were both facing the same direction and enjoying some exotic cocktails. The conversation was natural but when I returned from the bathroom (why is it always at this point in the night?), he turned to me and said “so it’s our third date, I think we should kiss”. I really didn’t know what to say for several reasons… 1) I dislike PDA 2) Why did he have to announce this? 3) Why couldn’t he wait until we were saying goodbye? Because I’m 5, I had a fit of giggles and tried to kiss him but couldn’t stop laughing because it was so awkward. The kiss was not good, the conversation got awkward and I never saw him again. This date got ruined mostly because of me and my laughing…but he started it by making the whole thing awkward!